I have been telling myself all week that when Saturday came, I would clean house, FOR SURE! And now, here I sit, waiting for the words to come from my fingertips onto the keyboard and hence onto the screen in front of me. It's not like it's a big deal, for goodness sake! I live in a small, two room apartment, barely 500 square feet, if that! It takes me all of two maybe two and half hours to clean bathroom, kitchen, mop floors, dust and vacuum. And still I dawdle and hem and haw and . . . well, I did just finish shredding documents I don't want to just throw in the trash. That's something, right?
Okay, enough already, it is not going to get done unless I do it!
My best to you all! May your Halloween be fun and full of laughter! May all you witches, hags and crones recognize that in the beginning, your walk in the world was to bring healing through touch, herbs and other natural methods; that your names were once honored as the highest title that could be bestowed and was given only to those women whose presence brought peace, love, understanding and cooperation. We can reclaim our place in the world and so, let's to it!
And, in the meantime, let's say "Thanks for it all!"
Saturday, October 31, 2009
Friday, October 30, 2009
What is more dear and precious than friendship?
I had such a wonderful time yesterday afternoon. I met with a dear friend whom I have known 6-7 years, I guess, for lunch. We sat outside, taking in the sun, a bit of a breeze, good food and lively conversation. We shared deeply and laughed a lot! What a joy it is to have a friend - to be a friend!
Also, I just ran across this quote I made note of several months go: "Take responsibility for the time you use and the space you occupy". My note says "The Age of the Unthinkable" and the name of the person I scribbled is undecipherable. I wish I had taken more pains to write it more clearly.
"Take responsibility for the time you use and the space you occupy."
That is an amazing sentence, in my mind. And in my mind, it is a mindful way to live a life. For me, to take responsibility for the time I use means to think about, to weigh, and to feel my way through each day as though there are consequences for my actions, as indeed there are. How I spend my day matters - not in the sense of "Look at me! See what I am doing!" as much as it is reveals me, my self, my being, and how I see myself in connection, interdependence with others, that counts.
Take responsibility for the space I occupy? What is the energy I bring with me into any space? What are the feelings that emanate from my being in any one place at any one time? This morning, as usual, I did my exercise routine, meeting several women friends and visiting with a woman I had not met before. We chatted mostly about baseball and the team we support (or not, as the case may be - she being a Yankee fan and I am NOT!) and so on. She also mentioned she had a migraine headache and, although I have never had one, I could not for a minute imagine pulling, pushing, lifting, the machines around like we do with my head throbbing as I imagined hers doing. So, did I take responsibility for the space I was occupying at that moment? Did I remember to offer a blessing and a prayer to her from my heart to her head? To be absolutely honest, I cannot exactly remember that I did - and I certainly hope so. That would be, for me, a definition of taking responsibility for the space I occupy.
From my workout, I drove to a retail center to purchase birthday cards. There are loads of November birthdays coming up for the Marshall family. Would you believe, out of the eleven grandchildren I have been blessed to love, five of them are born from November 4th to November 12th! And two of my four children have birthdays later in November, and the brother who was a surrogate father to me, Baxter, was born on the 28th. So many celebrations - so much love to share!
Then I went to another store to purchase a pair of black pants. I had received one of those $10 off coupons for shopping between 10/27-10/31. As I cut the coupon out, I had this feeling that there was some fine print I needed to read. As small as the "fine print" was, I couldn't exactly make it out. After I had made my selection, the cashier said "This doesn't apply". No surprise! And, as it turned out, the woman next to me, with whom I had carried on a conversation while waiting in line, could use the coupon and so I said "Sure!"
I do hope that I can honestly say that today, I took responsibility for the time I used and the space I occupied.
Until tomorrow - dear reader -
Thanks for it all!
Also, I just ran across this quote I made note of several months go: "Take responsibility for the time you use and the space you occupy". My note says "The Age of the Unthinkable" and the name of the person I scribbled is undecipherable. I wish I had taken more pains to write it more clearly.
"Take responsibility for the time you use and the space you occupy."
That is an amazing sentence, in my mind. And in my mind, it is a mindful way to live a life. For me, to take responsibility for the time I use means to think about, to weigh, and to feel my way through each day as though there are consequences for my actions, as indeed there are. How I spend my day matters - not in the sense of "Look at me! See what I am doing!" as much as it is reveals me, my self, my being, and how I see myself in connection, interdependence with others, that counts.
Take responsibility for the space I occupy? What is the energy I bring with me into any space? What are the feelings that emanate from my being in any one place at any one time? This morning, as usual, I did my exercise routine, meeting several women friends and visiting with a woman I had not met before. We chatted mostly about baseball and the team we support (or not, as the case may be - she being a Yankee fan and I am NOT!) and so on. She also mentioned she had a migraine headache and, although I have never had one, I could not for a minute imagine pulling, pushing, lifting, the machines around like we do with my head throbbing as I imagined hers doing. So, did I take responsibility for the space I was occupying at that moment? Did I remember to offer a blessing and a prayer to her from my heart to her head? To be absolutely honest, I cannot exactly remember that I did - and I certainly hope so. That would be, for me, a definition of taking responsibility for the space I occupy.
From my workout, I drove to a retail center to purchase birthday cards. There are loads of November birthdays coming up for the Marshall family. Would you believe, out of the eleven grandchildren I have been blessed to love, five of them are born from November 4th to November 12th! And two of my four children have birthdays later in November, and the brother who was a surrogate father to me, Baxter, was born on the 28th. So many celebrations - so much love to share!
Then I went to another store to purchase a pair of black pants. I had received one of those $10 off coupons for shopping between 10/27-10/31. As I cut the coupon out, I had this feeling that there was some fine print I needed to read. As small as the "fine print" was, I couldn't exactly make it out. After I had made my selection, the cashier said "This doesn't apply". No surprise! And, as it turned out, the woman next to me, with whom I had carried on a conversation while waiting in line, could use the coupon and so I said "Sure!"
I do hope that I can honestly say that today, I took responsibility for the time I used and the space I occupied.
Until tomorrow - dear reader -
Thanks for it all!
Thursday, October 29, 2009
When taking a deep breath seems all one can do
Some changes, unexpected (well, aren't almost all changes unexpected?) have come my way opening up a place in me that is almost as familiar as the back of my hand. Speaking of the back of my hand, as I was holding my great-grandson Luke a couple of Saturdays ago, I had to marvel at the difference in our hands. Mine looked like my Mother's used to look and his, well, at four months plus, looked fresh, untested, ready and willing to reach for anything within his grasp. What an amazing memory-moment!
Anyway, as I was saying, a seemingly small and insignicant change in my Tuesday routine has set me on a new and same old course; dealing with feelings as old as my memory itself. How do we learn that we are what we do? Is it a way to gain attention? A way to be noticed? A way to lessen the pain of not knowing what is going on while everyone around seems to?
Now I wonder if I am revealing more of myself than seems reasonable for a blog like this? One of the members of one of the groups I attend at Common Ground recently announced "This isn't what I signed up for." Are you feeling that way, dear reader? If so, you have my permission to be excused.
Or perhaps you are reminded, as I have been, that Life presents the gifts of our experiences just at the very moment we have the time, the place, the resources and the support to move to a place of greater depth and understanding about how we are in the world. That was one of the hallmarks of my time in a 12-step program and I have relied and trusted that bit of truth ever since.
I love to help out - to see what needs to be done, to do it with or without recognition. One of our ministers at Common Ground pointed out one time that if any one of us sees a task to be done, then it, obviously, is ours to do. I took her at her word; well, to be honest, I think that is pretty much the way I operate anyway. (Pardon the interruption, Gray just came to sit in my lap, her warm body and sweet face bringing comfort and companionship. Oh, how I love her! And I do promise, once I can find it, to post a picture I took of her a few months back. Lacking that, I will take another soon so you can see this kitty who receives my love and gives hers back to me!)
So as I was saying, I now plan to sit quietly, absorbing the energy of the Angels I feel around me; to see with clear eyes and to hear with ears attuned to the Love that is All in All!
Thanks for it all!
Anyway, as I was saying, a seemingly small and insignicant change in my Tuesday routine has set me on a new and same old course; dealing with feelings as old as my memory itself. How do we learn that we are what we do? Is it a way to gain attention? A way to be noticed? A way to lessen the pain of not knowing what is going on while everyone around seems to?
Now I wonder if I am revealing more of myself than seems reasonable for a blog like this? One of the members of one of the groups I attend at Common Ground recently announced "This isn't what I signed up for." Are you feeling that way, dear reader? If so, you have my permission to be excused.
Or perhaps you are reminded, as I have been, that Life presents the gifts of our experiences just at the very moment we have the time, the place, the resources and the support to move to a place of greater depth and understanding about how we are in the world. That was one of the hallmarks of my time in a 12-step program and I have relied and trusted that bit of truth ever since.
I love to help out - to see what needs to be done, to do it with or without recognition. One of our ministers at Common Ground pointed out one time that if any one of us sees a task to be done, then it, obviously, is ours to do. I took her at her word; well, to be honest, I think that is pretty much the way I operate anyway. (Pardon the interruption, Gray just came to sit in my lap, her warm body and sweet face bringing comfort and companionship. Oh, how I love her! And I do promise, once I can find it, to post a picture I took of her a few months back. Lacking that, I will take another soon so you can see this kitty who receives my love and gives hers back to me!)
So as I was saying, I now plan to sit quietly, absorbing the energy of the Angels I feel around me; to see with clear eyes and to hear with ears attuned to the Love that is All in All!
Thanks for it all!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Oh, I got it now!
Yesterday I wrote that I couldn't remember the name of the international organization that had been the impulse to start "Imagine Peace". In my meditation time, it came to me: "Alliance for a New Humanity". Common Ground-goers came to know of this group because our ministers, Rev. Judy dePrete and Rev. Glenda Knox, traveled to Puerto Rico in the summer of 2007 to attend a conference headed by Deepak Chopra. When they returned, they facilitated an evening group discussion wherein we decided to become a part of this alliance. Each time we met (once a month), we would read a few pages of dedication, commitment and reminders of what this organization and our participation in it meant. I took these readings to be part of a ritual shared by humans all over the planet. It was so heart-expanding! I just loved it. However, apparently, some thought the readings to be too repetitious and consequently it was decided to drop them. Within a month or two, the meetings stopped altogether. Had I been a participant in Common Ground for a longer time, I might have (and now wish that I had) expressed my feelings more strongly than I did that night. I did make mention of the fact of how awesome it was to be part of such an alliance - to be reminded each time we read the words that others across the planet were doing the same thing - reading the same words. Still the decision to abandon (perhaps that is too strong a word?) held. However, at one of the side-bar meetings attended by a few of us, a decision was made to meet at that intersection in Tustin on Tuesday afternoons from 4 to 5PM. Originally our signs said "Standing in Peace". One Sunday morning, a couple of months later, there was a one-page ad in the L A Times with the words "Imagine Peace", signed by John Lennon's widow. I took that page to our service that morning and Rev. Glenda suggested that our signs be changed, and changed they were.
Whew! What a lot of words simply because I remembered "Alliance for a New Humanity:"!
So, with that, dear, dear readers, I will ask: How is your day going? How are you feeling? What are your hopes and desires for this moment, this very NOW? What are they asking you to do for you, for your life? And if you are of such a mind, please share them.
And, in the meantime, may we all say "Thanks for it all!"
Whew! What a lot of words simply because I remembered "Alliance for a New Humanity:"!
So, with that, dear, dear readers, I will ask: How is your day going? How are you feeling? What are your hopes and desires for this moment, this very NOW? What are they asking you to do for you, for your life? And if you are of such a mind, please share them.
And, in the meantime, may we all say "Thanks for it all!"
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
P.S.
Remember when I said, a few days ago, that I needed to "check my work". Well, I went back to the opening page and noticed that the word to describe those of you who have signed on, is "Followers", not "friends". Would you believe I had typed the word "Followers" and thought, as I reread the post, that it was incorrect?
And, as I reviewed the post, I noticed at the bottom of the page, is a place for comments. So . . . if you feel so inclined, please do. And, once more, thanks for it all!
And, as I reviewed the post, I noticed at the bottom of the page, is a place for comments. So . . . if you feel so inclined, please do. And, once more, thanks for it all!
Tuesday, Tuesday!
First of all, a huge "Thank you" to those of you who have signed on as "friends". I do appreciate your willingness to be so identified. Also, part of my lack of technical understanding is that I thought, when I started this venture, that you would be able to post comments that we could all read. If you have any suggestions as to how I can make that available to you, I would be most appreciative.
I titled today's blog "Tuesday, Tuesday!" because it is my favorite day of the week. Each Tuesday I volunteer time at Common Ground (http://www.embracehumanity.com/) doing whatever service I can for our community. It's really simple stuff - answering phones, changing out candles in our votives, watering plants, etc. And I just love it! Another speciality about Tuesdays is that the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of each month, we meet at 10AM for Women's Wisdom, a gathering of women who sit in a circle and who share at whatever depth is available at the moment. I am reminded of a saying, and forgive me, I have no idea where it came from: "Joy shared is doubled, sorrow shared is halved". That pretty much sums it up. What an amazing and healing group it is.
And the last part of the afternoon, from 4 to 5PM, I stand (along with another member of our community, occasionally another one or two join us) at the corner of Irvine Blvd and Prospect Ave in Tustin, holding a sign that reads "Imagine Peace". This started a couple of years ago, I think, at the suggestion of one of our members. At that time, we held monthly meetings around the idea of holding a global perspective (for the life of me I cannot think of the precise name! ! !) for peace, interdependence, and reverence for all life. At first there were quite a few of us and little by little, it became my friend and I. I sometimes arrive there feeling a bit tired and, when it is either very hot or on the cold side, wonder how I can make it through the hour. Amazingly enough, the first wave of a motorist's hand is like the best medicine in the world. Immediately my body responds, my heart opens up and there we are, together! Sometimes I notice that the driver of the car passing by seems to be intent on not looking at the sign or acknowledging our waving hands. And I know enough about the workings of our eyes that the message has been received and it being filed away in the brain somewhere. And so I say "Bless you" and deeply and truly mean it. There are some who honk horns almost before they reach the intersection, anticipating our presence and wanting to be counted among us. There is a school bus driver who flashes her lights and/or waves her arm. Sometimes if the bus goes by with children in it, they lower the windows and flash peace signs! It is just too precious for words.
Well, now, I didn't exactly mean to go on and on and yet . . . I am sure you will allow for my burst of enthusiasm about this experience. Using the word "enthusiasm" reminds me that I once purchased a tee shirt in Ashland, Oregon, that had a large design of fireworks going off and underneath it said "Caution, wearer is subject to bursts of enthusiasm!" Don't know where that shirt is today and I do wish I had it back!
So now I close this post with a prayer that you, too, have such a day each week in your lives - that your heart and mind and passions are stirred to do something for the sake of us all. We are all in this together!
Thanks for it all! ! !
I titled today's blog "Tuesday, Tuesday!" because it is my favorite day of the week. Each Tuesday I volunteer time at Common Ground (http://www.embracehumanity.com/) doing whatever service I can for our community. It's really simple stuff - answering phones, changing out candles in our votives, watering plants, etc. And I just love it! Another speciality about Tuesdays is that the 2nd and 4th Tuesday of each month, we meet at 10AM for Women's Wisdom, a gathering of women who sit in a circle and who share at whatever depth is available at the moment. I am reminded of a saying, and forgive me, I have no idea where it came from: "Joy shared is doubled, sorrow shared is halved". That pretty much sums it up. What an amazing and healing group it is.
And the last part of the afternoon, from 4 to 5PM, I stand (along with another member of our community, occasionally another one or two join us) at the corner of Irvine Blvd and Prospect Ave in Tustin, holding a sign that reads "Imagine Peace". This started a couple of years ago, I think, at the suggestion of one of our members. At that time, we held monthly meetings around the idea of holding a global perspective (for the life of me I cannot think of the precise name! ! !) for peace, interdependence, and reverence for all life. At first there were quite a few of us and little by little, it became my friend and I. I sometimes arrive there feeling a bit tired and, when it is either very hot or on the cold side, wonder how I can make it through the hour. Amazingly enough, the first wave of a motorist's hand is like the best medicine in the world. Immediately my body responds, my heart opens up and there we are, together! Sometimes I notice that the driver of the car passing by seems to be intent on not looking at the sign or acknowledging our waving hands. And I know enough about the workings of our eyes that the message has been received and it being filed away in the brain somewhere. And so I say "Bless you" and deeply and truly mean it. There are some who honk horns almost before they reach the intersection, anticipating our presence and wanting to be counted among us. There is a school bus driver who flashes her lights and/or waves her arm. Sometimes if the bus goes by with children in it, they lower the windows and flash peace signs! It is just too precious for words.
Well, now, I didn't exactly mean to go on and on and yet . . . I am sure you will allow for my burst of enthusiasm about this experience. Using the word "enthusiasm" reminds me that I once purchased a tee shirt in Ashland, Oregon, that had a large design of fireworks going off and underneath it said "Caution, wearer is subject to bursts of enthusiasm!" Don't know where that shirt is today and I do wish I had it back!
So now I close this post with a prayer that you, too, have such a day each week in your lives - that your heart and mind and passions are stirred to do something for the sake of us all. We are all in this together!
Thanks for it all! ! !
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, Monday!
Good morning, one and all! The Santana Winds have arrived! They usually show up around Hallowe'en and sure enough, sometime in the night, I heard them roaring around the apartment complex. Lots of my neighbors have umbrellas shielding patios and I wondered if any were blown away. I didn't see any evidence of that so perhaps the wind wasn't blowing quite as hard as it sounded.
Before I forget, I want to take care of some business that has been buzzing around in the back of my mind. I may, from time to time, use the proper name of a place of business or refer to a book or a play. I most certainly do respect trademark names and copyrights. If I err in not acknowledging that fact, please be kind and, of course, bring it to my attention. In my profile, I didn't check the box for posting my email address. Not sure why I made that decision and I will change it so you can let me know directly by email.
That said . . .
I have just returned from my Monday workout at Curves (a trade-mark registered name). I have belong to this exercise club since October of 2003. Years and years of sitting at an office desk and doing no exercise at all had certainly taken it's toll, so after I moved to Yorba Linda and the company I worked for moved its location to E. Orangethorpe, and as I was driving to work one morning, I passed a sign that said "Curves"!. I simply could no longer ignore it. I stopped by that afternoon and signed up and I have been there, pretty much three times a week, ever since. I have lost close to 60 lbs and a whole lot of inches. It took a long time to be sure and it certainly was/is worth the effort. My aim is to make sure this body-temple is as healthy as possible. The weight and inches loss is great, of course, and mostly I am just so grateful to be in touch with my body; to bless it each and every day. In his book "The Biology of Belief" by Dr. Bruce Lipton, he suggests that, inasmuch as each cell is enclosed in membrane that acts not only as a transmitter, informing the cell of the work it is to do, but that it is also a receiver, so everytime we bless our bodies, everytime we bless the trillions and trillions of cells that make up our bodies, we are supporting our immune system to its maximum. So simple, so easy, so miraculous, so amazing!
I have been and continue to be in awe and wonder at the loving and supportive comments I have received from my words. Thank you, thank you, thank you! (As I type these words, I am reminded of a friend who read the draft of my book a couple of years ago. When I went to retrieve the manuscript, she told me I had included the words "Thank you" 26 times! It was her suggestion that perhaps I had overdone it, so I did go back and edit out a few of them. I am so reminded that Meister Eckhart said (and I paraphrase, of course), "If the only prayer we pray is Thank You, that would be enough".
And so, my dear, dear readers -
Thank you!
Thanks for it all!
Before I forget, I want to take care of some business that has been buzzing around in the back of my mind. I may, from time to time, use the proper name of a place of business or refer to a book or a play. I most certainly do respect trademark names and copyrights. If I err in not acknowledging that fact, please be kind and, of course, bring it to my attention. In my profile, I didn't check the box for posting my email address. Not sure why I made that decision and I will change it so you can let me know directly by email.
That said . . .
I have just returned from my Monday workout at Curves (a trade-mark registered name). I have belong to this exercise club since October of 2003. Years and years of sitting at an office desk and doing no exercise at all had certainly taken it's toll, so after I moved to Yorba Linda and the company I worked for moved its location to E. Orangethorpe, and as I was driving to work one morning, I passed a sign that said "Curves"!. I simply could no longer ignore it. I stopped by that afternoon and signed up and I have been there, pretty much three times a week, ever since. I have lost close to 60 lbs and a whole lot of inches. It took a long time to be sure and it certainly was/is worth the effort. My aim is to make sure this body-temple is as healthy as possible. The weight and inches loss is great, of course, and mostly I am just so grateful to be in touch with my body; to bless it each and every day. In his book "The Biology of Belief" by Dr. Bruce Lipton, he suggests that, inasmuch as each cell is enclosed in membrane that acts not only as a transmitter, informing the cell of the work it is to do, but that it is also a receiver, so everytime we bless our bodies, everytime we bless the trillions and trillions of cells that make up our bodies, we are supporting our immune system to its maximum. So simple, so easy, so miraculous, so amazing!
I have been and continue to be in awe and wonder at the loving and supportive comments I have received from my words. Thank you, thank you, thank you! (As I type these words, I am reminded of a friend who read the draft of my book a couple of years ago. When I went to retrieve the manuscript, she told me I had included the words "Thank you" 26 times! It was her suggestion that perhaps I had overdone it, so I did go back and edit out a few of them. I am so reminded that Meister Eckhart said (and I paraphrase, of course), "If the only prayer we pray is Thank You, that would be enough".
And so, my dear, dear readers -
Thank you!
Thanks for it all!
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Sunday in SoCal!
Good afternoon! My Sunday mornings are quite full as I help open and greet congregants at Common Ground for our 9AM service. I love being involved and contributing whatever it is I can as the energy of the community.
This morning I found myself (and still do to some degree) feeling quite unsettled; words aren't coming to me very easily, having trouble remembering why I went into a certain room and what I went there for. I had a very restful day yesterday and don't feel any particular stress, so . . . I guess it's just one of the days for me to be thoughtful and pay close attention.
This morning, I would like to talk about the 2nd of my favorite books listed in my profile. Please understand the chronological order has nothing to do with the impact of each book upon my life, okay?
Anyway, "A God Who Looks Like Me" came into my life in 1995, the year it was copyrighted. I wish I could remember exactly how I came to buy it. As I recall, it was one of those times when I simply looked at the titles on the book stacks in the store and there it was. At that time, I was volunteering time at the Orange County CoDa office in Tustin, answering phones, mailing out meeting location lists, that sort of thing. So I took this book along with me and read as time allowed. I also read after completing my morning meditation time on the days I didn't need to leave the house in a hurry. (Actually, I was living in a mobile home at the time and that's another story for another blog.) The more I read, the more I came to feel the honesty, authenticity and truth of Patricia Lynn Reilly's words. Amazing!
When I finished the book, I decided I had to do something to let her know how much she had changed my life. So I wrote to Patricia, in care of the publisher, and much to my surprise and beyond all expectation, I received a reply in a week or so. As I remember it, I received her note on Thursday, telling me that she would be in Santa Monica the coming Saturday for a one-day retreat. I called a couple of friends and of course, we attended.
I remember walking into the foyer of the building and there was this young, slight, attractive woman standing to one side and as we approached, she came forward and said "Hello! I'm Patricia!" How did so much wisdom get inside that woman's heart? As the time unfolded, it became very clear to me, she had been touched at a soul level about the importance of women coming to know the Feminine God. And, before the day was over, she announced that she was presenting a full week seminar in the Santa Cruz Mountains that coming summer. The idea of being in her presence for a full week, in the midst of the redwoods, with women celebrating their divinity was like the best chocolate you ever tasted, only more so.
As I recall (am I over using that phrase today?) there were four of us from Orange County who flew to San Jose and then were picked up and driven to the Quaker Center near Ben Lomond. Phyllis, Joanne, Cheryl and I. In all, I believe there were 20 or so women in attendance, some from across the land and some local. Patricia had been leading groups in the Bay Area for some time. Oh, now I remember one truly remarkable event. There were several of us sitting at a table after lunch the first or second day. One woman seemed particularly familiar to me, as I did to her, so we started talking about places where perhaps we had met. She mentioned among other things, belonging to a group that met in San Ramon. I mentioned I had a nephew living there. Lo and behold! She went to the group John facilitated! How about that?
There isn't enough time or space in this one post to tell you all of what took place in those days and nights. We sang, we laughed, we cried, we painted on large sheets of paper attached to the out-buildings surrounding the lodge with acrylic paint and tongue depressers. We stood in the midst of the redwoods, drums in hand, celebrating the mysterious, mystical, miraculous truth of women's lives laid bare and in full bloom.
The final night, I was given the honor of leading the circle into our favorite spot among the redwoods, having previously been crowned "Crone of All Crones"! I was deeply honored and it title was bestowed because I was the eldest one in attendance. I do believe the woman who was next in line was quite disappointed that she wasn't so honored. To be so named for having accumulated 64 years of life experience was thrilling. As you can imagine, our parting was bitter-sweet and we vowed to stay in touch with each other. Some of us did, for a time. I occasionally hear from Patricia still. She was most instrumental in inspiring me to do the organizing of previous writings and to allow my pen to move across the paper with new words, new ideas. I shall be grateful to her, for her, all the days of my life!
And so, my dear readers, I close with a prayer that this day will be the day where we all celebrate the wonder and glory of being born in a woman's body, living a woman's life, loving the earth, the sky, the trees, the winged ones, the four-legged ones, the finned ones, the creepy, crawly ones and each other! (I can't close quite yet without telling you about the lizard I saw on my walk around my apartment complex yesterday afternoon. She is rather small, probably no more than six or seven inches. She froze as I stood there, complementing her on her beauty and then I looked carefully at her toes. Have you ever done that? I was amazed! They seemed no bigger than perhaps two or three strands of hair. They were spread out, ready either to stay or to run. And they were beautiful!)
Until tomorrow - or until the next time, whenever that may be -
Thanks for it all! ! !
This morning I found myself (and still do to some degree) feeling quite unsettled; words aren't coming to me very easily, having trouble remembering why I went into a certain room and what I went there for. I had a very restful day yesterday and don't feel any particular stress, so . . . I guess it's just one of the days for me to be thoughtful and pay close attention.
This morning, I would like to talk about the 2nd of my favorite books listed in my profile. Please understand the chronological order has nothing to do with the impact of each book upon my life, okay?
Anyway, "A God Who Looks Like Me" came into my life in 1995, the year it was copyrighted. I wish I could remember exactly how I came to buy it. As I recall, it was one of those times when I simply looked at the titles on the book stacks in the store and there it was. At that time, I was volunteering time at the Orange County CoDa office in Tustin, answering phones, mailing out meeting location lists, that sort of thing. So I took this book along with me and read as time allowed. I also read after completing my morning meditation time on the days I didn't need to leave the house in a hurry. (Actually, I was living in a mobile home at the time and that's another story for another blog.) The more I read, the more I came to feel the honesty, authenticity and truth of Patricia Lynn Reilly's words. Amazing!
When I finished the book, I decided I had to do something to let her know how much she had changed my life. So I wrote to Patricia, in care of the publisher, and much to my surprise and beyond all expectation, I received a reply in a week or so. As I remember it, I received her note on Thursday, telling me that she would be in Santa Monica the coming Saturday for a one-day retreat. I called a couple of friends and of course, we attended.
I remember walking into the foyer of the building and there was this young, slight, attractive woman standing to one side and as we approached, she came forward and said "Hello! I'm Patricia!" How did so much wisdom get inside that woman's heart? As the time unfolded, it became very clear to me, she had been touched at a soul level about the importance of women coming to know the Feminine God. And, before the day was over, she announced that she was presenting a full week seminar in the Santa Cruz Mountains that coming summer. The idea of being in her presence for a full week, in the midst of the redwoods, with women celebrating their divinity was like the best chocolate you ever tasted, only more so.
As I recall (am I over using that phrase today?) there were four of us from Orange County who flew to San Jose and then were picked up and driven to the Quaker Center near Ben Lomond. Phyllis, Joanne, Cheryl and I. In all, I believe there were 20 or so women in attendance, some from across the land and some local. Patricia had been leading groups in the Bay Area for some time. Oh, now I remember one truly remarkable event. There were several of us sitting at a table after lunch the first or second day. One woman seemed particularly familiar to me, as I did to her, so we started talking about places where perhaps we had met. She mentioned among other things, belonging to a group that met in San Ramon. I mentioned I had a nephew living there. Lo and behold! She went to the group John facilitated! How about that?
There isn't enough time or space in this one post to tell you all of what took place in those days and nights. We sang, we laughed, we cried, we painted on large sheets of paper attached to the out-buildings surrounding the lodge with acrylic paint and tongue depressers. We stood in the midst of the redwoods, drums in hand, celebrating the mysterious, mystical, miraculous truth of women's lives laid bare and in full bloom.
The final night, I was given the honor of leading the circle into our favorite spot among the redwoods, having previously been crowned "Crone of All Crones"! I was deeply honored and it title was bestowed because I was the eldest one in attendance. I do believe the woman who was next in line was quite disappointed that she wasn't so honored. To be so named for having accumulated 64 years of life experience was thrilling. As you can imagine, our parting was bitter-sweet and we vowed to stay in touch with each other. Some of us did, for a time. I occasionally hear from Patricia still. She was most instrumental in inspiring me to do the organizing of previous writings and to allow my pen to move across the paper with new words, new ideas. I shall be grateful to her, for her, all the days of my life!
And so, my dear readers, I close with a prayer that this day will be the day where we all celebrate the wonder and glory of being born in a woman's body, living a woman's life, loving the earth, the sky, the trees, the winged ones, the four-legged ones, the finned ones, the creepy, crawly ones and each other! (I can't close quite yet without telling you about the lizard I saw on my walk around my apartment complex yesterday afternoon. She is rather small, probably no more than six or seven inches. She froze as I stood there, complementing her on her beauty and then I looked carefully at her toes. Have you ever done that? I was amazed! They seemed no bigger than perhaps two or three strands of hair. They were spread out, ready either to stay or to run. And they were beautiful!)
Until tomorrow - or until the next time, whenever that may be -
Thanks for it all! ! !
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Re-reading old favorites
Good Saturday morning to you all!
One of the joys of my life is returning to my bookshelves and retrieving the connection to words previously read, finding therein more understanding, more depth, more . . . well . . . everything that I had loved about that particular book in the first place.
Recently I started re-reading "Women Who Run With The Wolves" by Clarissa Pincola Estes, Ph. D. The book was given to me as a Christmas present from a co-worker, Donna, in 1992. When I opened it the other day, I discovered I had kept the card that had accompanied the gift, signed "I love you, Donna". She and I shared a lot of experiences together - working for a property management division of a major corporation near the Orange County Airport. She was our receptionist and such a conscientious and dedicated one, too. We became fast friends and took trips to Ashland, Oregon, to attend plays presented by the Oregon Shakespeare Company. (My devotion to this place and this acting company will undoubtedly be the subject of many of my posts.) We didn't see much of each other after her employment was terminated except that I did attend her wedding which was a joyous occasion to be sure. We exchanged a few emails and, thank God, I did write to her to tell her of the impact on my life of her generous gift.
And so, back to the subject, this amazing book. Shortly after I started reading it the first time, my employment was shockingly and unexpectedly ended, just two months shy of 16 years of employment. So I had many hours to sit, read, and wonder at the wisdom found on it. In fact, I was so taken by it that I wrote to several of my women friends, asking them to attend a book-reading group at my condo in Irvine. Amazingly, that group continued in various sizes and shapes for about nine months. Each time we got together, we found another nugget, another morsel and sometimes, a huge piece of our selves, our women's lives, that we had not noticed or acknowledged previously. I have read it many times since although not for probably 3-4 years. So it was with special delight that I opened to the first chapter and started soaking it all in again.
For those of you familiar with the book, you will recall that one of the first stories is about Bluebeard, the demon of a man, who ultimately is killed by the brothers of the young woman whom he has enticed into his castle. As far as I can remember, my earlier readings focused on the situations in my life that had much the same feel. This time, as she emphasizes in no uncertain terms, I came face to face with the reality that there is this "demon" within me who would entice me in, urge me to ignore my intuition and then threaten me with death.
How does this show up in my life today? Most recently, my hesitation and yes, outright fear in attempting to set up and start this blog. Previously, when, after arranging for the publication of a book of my writings, prose and poetry, ("From The Inside Out - Living Life As Women Do") I could not bring myself to take the next step to actively market it and so copies languish in a box in the trunk of my car. Before that, many, many years ago, giving up on singing. (I don't have a huge talent and I have a huge love of singing!)
And so, dear readers, I come to this morning, this moment in time, more aware, seeing with clearer eyes and hearing with wide-open ears, whatever it is that my soul's journey, this Life, has to offer me today. I intend to be as receptive as I can be. That is my goal for this day.
I close with deep respect and reverence for our connection to each other - to all living things - and trust that your day, too, will bring you joy, growth, outloud laughter and love, love, love!
Thanks for it all!
One of the joys of my life is returning to my bookshelves and retrieving the connection to words previously read, finding therein more understanding, more depth, more . . . well . . . everything that I had loved about that particular book in the first place.
Recently I started re-reading "Women Who Run With The Wolves" by Clarissa Pincola Estes, Ph. D. The book was given to me as a Christmas present from a co-worker, Donna, in 1992. When I opened it the other day, I discovered I had kept the card that had accompanied the gift, signed "I love you, Donna". She and I shared a lot of experiences together - working for a property management division of a major corporation near the Orange County Airport. She was our receptionist and such a conscientious and dedicated one, too. We became fast friends and took trips to Ashland, Oregon, to attend plays presented by the Oregon Shakespeare Company. (My devotion to this place and this acting company will undoubtedly be the subject of many of my posts.) We didn't see much of each other after her employment was terminated except that I did attend her wedding which was a joyous occasion to be sure. We exchanged a few emails and, thank God, I did write to her to tell her of the impact on my life of her generous gift.
And so, back to the subject, this amazing book. Shortly after I started reading it the first time, my employment was shockingly and unexpectedly ended, just two months shy of 16 years of employment. So I had many hours to sit, read, and wonder at the wisdom found on it. In fact, I was so taken by it that I wrote to several of my women friends, asking them to attend a book-reading group at my condo in Irvine. Amazingly, that group continued in various sizes and shapes for about nine months. Each time we got together, we found another nugget, another morsel and sometimes, a huge piece of our selves, our women's lives, that we had not noticed or acknowledged previously. I have read it many times since although not for probably 3-4 years. So it was with special delight that I opened to the first chapter and started soaking it all in again.
For those of you familiar with the book, you will recall that one of the first stories is about Bluebeard, the demon of a man, who ultimately is killed by the brothers of the young woman whom he has enticed into his castle. As far as I can remember, my earlier readings focused on the situations in my life that had much the same feel. This time, as she emphasizes in no uncertain terms, I came face to face with the reality that there is this "demon" within me who would entice me in, urge me to ignore my intuition and then threaten me with death.
How does this show up in my life today? Most recently, my hesitation and yes, outright fear in attempting to set up and start this blog. Previously, when, after arranging for the publication of a book of my writings, prose and poetry, ("From The Inside Out - Living Life As Women Do") I could not bring myself to take the next step to actively market it and so copies languish in a box in the trunk of my car. Before that, many, many years ago, giving up on singing. (I don't have a huge talent and I have a huge love of singing!)
And so, dear readers, I come to this morning, this moment in time, more aware, seeing with clearer eyes and hearing with wide-open ears, whatever it is that my soul's journey, this Life, has to offer me today. I intend to be as receptive as I can be. That is my goal for this day.
I close with deep respect and reverence for our connection to each other - to all living things - and trust that your day, too, will bring you joy, growth, outloud laughter and love, love, love!
Thanks for it all!
Friday, October 23, 2009
Take time to double check your work, Carol!
Good morning to all! I hope you are having or about to have, a marvelous Friday!
In reviewing my previous posts, I see a couple of things that need correction or at least acknowledgement. My first post had a typo - "couldnt'" instead of "couldn't" - oops! ! ! and my second describing my family, mentioned a May birthday for Elijah and his birthday is in October! I can remember teachers reminding me to "double check your work" when I was in grammar school. Guess I'd better go back to those days, huh?
I spoke yesterday of the Life Review process a group of us at Common Ground are undertaking. It amazes me that, after I think I am finished writing for the day, that my memory bank keeps on working. All day long yesterday I found fresh memories arising, things that didn't come to mind the first time and, thank goodness for computers, I can go back and add in information and perhaps delete some as well. I can remember, in the "olden days", how I used a typewriter eraser and in some cases, simply pulled the paper out and rolled in a new sheet and just started all over. And when there were carbon copies required, what a chore that was! Well, going back into my history is not entirely what I intended to do when I opened up this blog this morning.
Since I retired, Fridays don't carry the same weight that they used to. And yet there are aspects of the last day of the working week that hang on. I still look forward to the weekends as though they are so different from the rest of the days and when Monday rolls around, I frequently refer to it as the first day of the week. Old habits of thought certainly have a way of sticking around, don't they?
Words are not coming to me as easily this morning so I am going to close now and simply say "Thanks for it all!!!"
In reviewing my previous posts, I see a couple of things that need correction or at least acknowledgement. My first post had a typo - "couldnt'" instead of "couldn't" - oops! ! ! and my second describing my family, mentioned a May birthday for Elijah and his birthday is in October! I can remember teachers reminding me to "double check your work" when I was in grammar school. Guess I'd better go back to those days, huh?
I spoke yesterday of the Life Review process a group of us at Common Ground are undertaking. It amazes me that, after I think I am finished writing for the day, that my memory bank keeps on working. All day long yesterday I found fresh memories arising, things that didn't come to mind the first time and, thank goodness for computers, I can go back and add in information and perhaps delete some as well. I can remember, in the "olden days", how I used a typewriter eraser and in some cases, simply pulled the paper out and rolled in a new sheet and just started all over. And when there were carbon copies required, what a chore that was! Well, going back into my history is not entirely what I intended to do when I opened up this blog this morning.
Since I retired, Fridays don't carry the same weight that they used to. And yet there are aspects of the last day of the working week that hang on. I still look forward to the weekends as though they are so different from the rest of the days and when Monday rolls around, I frequently refer to it as the first day of the week. Old habits of thought certainly have a way of sticking around, don't they?
Words are not coming to me as easily this morning so I am going to close now and simply say "Thanks for it all!!!"
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Another new day full of mystery and wonder!
So here we are again, dear readers, on a cool Thursday morning. I hope this finds you well and centered in serenity.
I would like to explain the picture I have included in my profile. It is a "four generation" picture with my younger daughter, Andra, her older son, Jerrett, and his son Eshiah held by me. It was taken two years ago at my daughter's home in Cave Junction, Oregon. Since then, I have held two more great-grandsons. Andra's second son, Ian, sired a son, Elijah a year ago last May, and my granddaughter, Ryann, birthed Luke Anthony in June. My, how love grows!
I am a member of a spiritual community "Common Ground" (http://www.embracehumanity.com/) in Tustin, California. I am part of a group now who is addressing the idea of how would be live if we knew this would be our last year. We meet twice a month and each time we do, it takes me a while to process all the emotions that have arisen from the sharing that has taken place. We started out sharing our first seven years. In a group of 17 people, with the time limitation, it has taken us from the 3rd week in July until last night, to finish. So we will have to condense, a LOT, in order to complete the years and still have time left over for other subjects to be addressed, such as writing letters of appreciation, planning our memorial services, etc. For me, this class has given the opportunity to understand, at a very dep level, how each time I look into someone's eyes, be it the clerk at the grocery store, a dear friend, a grandchild, that it is incumbent upon me to make sure I bring my full attention to the moment, to make it matter to me and, hopefully, to the other person as well. I understand I cannot be responsible for how the other person receives the moment, and I can intend for it to be as deep as possible.
I also want to introduce you to "Gray" my precious kitty who has shared the last nine years with me. She is my companion, my confidante and just now, it sitting beside me, her ears perked up to the sound of my fingers on the keyboard. Oh, how I love her!
And so, dear ones, off I go to the rest of my day, carrying with me your graciousness and merciful kindness.
Adieu!
I would like to explain the picture I have included in my profile. It is a "four generation" picture with my younger daughter, Andra, her older son, Jerrett, and his son Eshiah held by me. It was taken two years ago at my daughter's home in Cave Junction, Oregon. Since then, I have held two more great-grandsons. Andra's second son, Ian, sired a son, Elijah a year ago last May, and my granddaughter, Ryann, birthed Luke Anthony in June. My, how love grows!
I am a member of a spiritual community "Common Ground" (http://www.embracehumanity.com/) in Tustin, California. I am part of a group now who is addressing the idea of how would be live if we knew this would be our last year. We meet twice a month and each time we do, it takes me a while to process all the emotions that have arisen from the sharing that has taken place. We started out sharing our first seven years. In a group of 17 people, with the time limitation, it has taken us from the 3rd week in July until last night, to finish. So we will have to condense, a LOT, in order to complete the years and still have time left over for other subjects to be addressed, such as writing letters of appreciation, planning our memorial services, etc. For me, this class has given the opportunity to understand, at a very dep level, how each time I look into someone's eyes, be it the clerk at the grocery store, a dear friend, a grandchild, that it is incumbent upon me to make sure I bring my full attention to the moment, to make it matter to me and, hopefully, to the other person as well. I understand I cannot be responsible for how the other person receives the moment, and I can intend for it to be as deep as possible.
I also want to introduce you to "Gray" my precious kitty who has shared the last nine years with me. She is my companion, my confidante and just now, it sitting beside me, her ears perked up to the sound of my fingers on the keyboard. Oh, how I love her!
And so, dear ones, off I go to the rest of my day, carrying with me your graciousness and merciful kindness.
Adieu!
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Here's to it all!
Good afternoon, dear readers! I thought I had written you a message earlier today and somehow or other, it didn't take. I am new to this blogging technology so I guess I can give myself permission to experience a learning curve, steep or otherwise.
I do want to take a moment to acknowledge that, even though it is afternoon here in Southern California, you may be reading this in your evening time, in your night time, in your morning time. And even though fall is in the air in the Northern Hemisphere, it might also be that you are reading this as you are preparing for spring. However it is for you, I trust that all is well with you!
The focus of this blog will be acknowledging that not every moment is joy-filled; not every experience rises to a peak; not every relationship works as we had hoped; not every financial transaction results is monumental returns. And yet, through it all, if and as we are able to say "Thanks for it all!", we can learn from and gain wisdom through whatever experience comes our way. Granted, some times it may take weeks, months or even years before we can take that step back and say "Oh, now I get it. Now I see what I couldnt' see before; now my eyes are adjusted to a different light, the shadows enhance the depth of the scene. Thank you, Great Spirit (or whatever name you wish to use). Thanks for it all!
Until next time, may we all remember as often as our breaths move in and out, that we are connected to all living things. We are all in this together!
I do want to take a moment to acknowledge that, even though it is afternoon here in Southern California, you may be reading this in your evening time, in your night time, in your morning time. And even though fall is in the air in the Northern Hemisphere, it might also be that you are reading this as you are preparing for spring. However it is for you, I trust that all is well with you!
The focus of this blog will be acknowledging that not every moment is joy-filled; not every experience rises to a peak; not every relationship works as we had hoped; not every financial transaction results is monumental returns. And yet, through it all, if and as we are able to say "Thanks for it all!", we can learn from and gain wisdom through whatever experience comes our way. Granted, some times it may take weeks, months or even years before we can take that step back and say "Oh, now I get it. Now I see what I couldnt' see before; now my eyes are adjusted to a different light, the shadows enhance the depth of the scene. Thank you, Great Spirit (or whatever name you wish to use). Thanks for it all!
Until next time, may we all remember as often as our breaths move in and out, that we are connected to all living things. We are all in this together!
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