Honest, at last!

Arriving at the celebration of my 77th trip around the sun last September, I thought I knew myself quite well; had done tons of recovery work; visited professional psychologists and had very recently spoken with two women whom I admire beyond words and yet, reading today's meditation about being open to love, brought me to my senses and to my most honest self.  "Be open to love" were the words starring at me from the page.  Who?  Me?  Nope!  No way!  Now wait a minute, I thought, "What are you telling me, purple-ink pen as you scratch away on the notepaper?".  And the words came tumbling out.  I can admire men, like men, appreciate men and there are several in my circle of friends whom I do admire, like and appreciate.  But be open to loving a man?  No.  I can't go there again.  Way too scarey.  Way too much risk.  Way too vulnerable.  Past experience led me to this conclusion.  Past experience left scars.  Past experience left me devastated. 
So, what now?  Now, instead of wondering why the journey of my life has found me living the vast majority of life without male companionship, I have the option of shining another light on the pathway and with wonder and awe, summon up the resolve to look deeper and deeper and so I shall.  Fear, that almost forbidden word and idea in some circles, can lead me home if I give my permission for it to do so and I shall! 
Whew!  After that bit of soul revelation, I have another wonderful experience to share with you this morning, dear readers.  A lovely woman came into Common Ground (http://www.embracehumanity.com/) a few weeks ago and I showed her around our facilities.  She explained she was in the process of deciding whether or not to move here from Colorado.  At the conclusion of our time together, she said she had made up her mind.  She would relocate here.  We have met several times since and yesterday, after our morning service, she and I went out to breakfast.  And you know, it just blew me away!  We share so many experiences together!  I mentioned Matthew Fox; she said she had attended one of his Cosmic Masses in Boulder, Colorado.  I mentioned the Oregon Shakespeare Festival in Ashland and she said she had been there many times.  The seeming conincidences didn't stop there and I am sure you get the idea.  Isn't the journey amazing?  How what seemed like a chance meeting has brought the two of us together in the birthing of a friendship born of common experience as well as curiosity in what this moment, this very NOW can bring forth.
Wow!  What a wonderful opportunity to say, one more time
Thanks for it all! ! !