I hope you have been privileged to sit in the circle of women and bear witness to the awesome power of love and compassion that embraces each woman and the entire circle. I had such an experience yesterday. As I have mentioned a couple of times, I have been in a funk lately - nothing particularly going on - just feeling sad most of the time; tears at the ready. Yesterday in our circle, a remarkable woman sitting next to me mentioned the need for us to be witnessed by someone else and bingo! the light came on! And then, just a few minutes later, a woman who has just relocated here mentioned the loneliness of living alone. Bingo! Another hit! I have lived alone since 1981 when my younger son moved out to share an apartment with a friend. Yes, there have been times when my daughters have moved back in for a short period of time, and while those count in a way, in another way, they don't. It wasn't going to be a permanent life-sharing experience. We understood that the time would come when they would go their way once again and once again, I would be living alone. To be sure I have this most precious kitty (yes, I know, I still need to post a picture of her) named Gray who sits on my lap almost immediately each time I sit in my chair and stays there as long as she can. I talk to her, pet her, tell her how beautiful she is and how thankful I am that she is here sharing her life with me. All that is true, of course, and yet . . . well, it's not quite the same as having someone here who cares, who converses, who offers support, you know what I mean, I'm sure. Yet with the miracle of the words "witness" and "lonely", at least now I have a hook upon which to hang my feelings, identify them and embrace them as wholly and as compassionately as I can. Thank you! Thank you! Thank you!
The other part of the title about the worst of times came along early last evening when I spoke with my older daughter and she gave me the news that one of her son's very best friends - the one he went fishing with, the one he shared so much of his time with - was killed on Saturday. He was riding in an ATV out in the desert with his girlfriend and another young man who was driving. At a high rate of speed, the driver decided to make a sharp left turn. Shane's friend was thrown from the vehicle, the vehicle turned over onto him and he was killed. What words are there to express the horror, the sorrow, the loss, the unspeakable grief that must arise from his parents, his girlfriend, his friend who was driving, all his other friends as well as my grandson? How do we survive such gruesome deaths? The way we do all the others, I guess, by accepting that Life is fragile, never is the next moment guaranteed and we must never take anyone's presence in our lives for granted. So please, dear readers, reach out and touch the ones you love - tell them so - show them so - and let them love you back. Please! Please! Please!
Thank you.
And yes, even now, thanks for it all!
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
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